The effect of algorithms on attraction

Dating app algorithms have existed since at least 2000, but early matching systems assumed people knew exactly what they were looking for in a partner. It's a well-known fact that our stated preferences don't always match what we actually find attractive in someone. To further complicate matters, dating apps often encourage people to prioritize things like income and height, which are poor indicators of what interacting with someone in real life will be like.

Modern dating apps determine match visibility by considering engagement metrics such as profile likes, responses, and activity levels. These algorithms promote certain users over others and create a sense of exclusivity through features like limited daily matches. Some apps highlight messages from premium users or "boost" profiles, shaping who interacts with whom.

Romance is gamified

Most dating apps incorporate elements of gamification. Tinder was designed analogically to a deck of playing cards. Users swipe right to match and left to "keep playing," and the two-sided opt-in system confirms interest from both partners so they can start messaging. The Gale-Shapley algorithm recommends compatible matches for Hinge users. A match becomes stable when both users would rather be with a recommended partner than with each other. A disadvantage of this approach is the assumption that similarly desirable people will be compatible. Some people are likelier to seek partners who are more desirable than them.

Ultimately, users spend excessive time swiping at the expense of meaningful interaction, which has an addictive effect. With the availability of endless profiles, they may struggle to commit, believing something better is just another swipe away.

Age as a factor

Dating after 40 is a fact of life for many who are unpartnered, divorced, or single parents, shaping a diverse dating pool. According to a Pew Research Center analysis based on Census Bureau data, almost 25% of Americans in their 40s have never been married, and just 22% of unmarried individuals aged 40-44 were cohabiting as a couple. Additionally, their longitudinal study found that approx. 25% of 40-year-olds who weren't married in 2001 had tied the knot before 2021.

Singles over 40 know what they want, unlike many younger daters. They are looking for an intentional dating experience and platforms that offer features focused on deep connections and core values. The best apps allow users to highlight their core values on their profile, explore in-app content hubs, etc.

Changing relationship expectations

Some users in their 20s might be looking for serious relationships, just like some 40+ users may approach relationships with casual intent. There are different apps for different expectations based on their interface, e.g. fast swiping vs. deep openers and detailed prompts. According to an online survey, the main reasons for app use were to have fun and meet people, and just 4% of users reported using them for casual encounters. 22% of women and 72% of men stated they were open to meeting a sexual partner on an app.

The options to unmatch, ghost, and move on influence emotional investment in potential partners. Worryingly, ghosting has reached unprecedented levels in 2025: six people get ghosted for every five dates.

Dating app interfaces promote validation seeking. Receiving likes and matches can become more about boosting one's ego than fostering a genuine connection.

Psychological effects of UX design

The way dating apps present matches and interactions affects user psychology. Read receipts and "seen" create anxiety, which may affect communication styles. Apps that allow heavy photo editing or bios with strict character limits may lead to misleading portrayals. Finally, some apps restrict features for free users, reinforcing a hierarchy of dating experiences based on financial investment.

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